The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction
by Draco's Daughter
Summary: Hear ye, hear ye! The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction is open for enrollment! Come participate in classes such as "Love Thy Grammar" and "The Art of Bromance" taught by the proud warriors themselves! Beware of Baby Behemoths and Kefka... An OFU.
1. Prologus

The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction  
>by<br>Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: I do not own Dissidia: Final Fantasy, the characters therein, nor do I own the original Thirteen Final Fantasy games nor the numerous characters therein.

The concept of the OFU (Official Fanfiction University) belongs to Camilla Sandman, author of the "Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth" a.k.a. "the one that started it all."

A/N: If you would like to appear in this story as a student, kindly fill out the questionnaire featured in this chapter and either PM or send it via email. Reviews with applications will be ignored. All the important and required questions are featured.

Also, if you spot any Baby Behemoths, either in a Dissidia Fanfiction, or in a fic from one of the original Final Fantasy games, please let me know and send me a link to the fic in which you found it so I can add it to my list.

Now, please enjoy the tales from _The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction_.

-X-X-X-X-

_Prologus_

The sound of steel swords clashing filled the vast emptiness of Order's Sanctuary as two figures dueled. One was the great Warrior of Light, leading the attack on a figure dressed all in red. The figure was holding her own until the Warrior made another attack, sending her flying across the arena. Her sword clattered to the ground, the woman in red tumbling to a stop, face up in the shallow water, breathing heavily.

The Warrior of Light approached his opponent, stooping to pick up her weapon to bring it to her. He held it out to her hilt-first, smiling as she took it, using it to pull her up.

"You're definitely getting better. You actually managed to land a few hits this time," he stated. The woman grunted softly as she was helped up, dismissing her blade in a flash of swirling fuchsia energy.

"So many skills to learn and master, not enough time till the start of term," the woman said, going to sit and relax on the steps to Cosmos's throne.

"As least you're making an effort to learn," the Warrior said, pulling a potion from his pack and handing it to her. She pulled the stopper off the bottle and took a swig, grimacing lightly at the taste, feeling her energy restored and minor injuries healed. She suspected that potions had some kind of alcohol in them, seeing as alcohol had been viewed as a medicine in ancient times in her world.

"We can only hope the students will do the same," the woman stated, finishing off the potion. At that moment, Zidane came running, tossing something to the Warrior of Light.

"Watch over that for me, thanks!" The thief called as he fled.

The Warrior blinked, looking down at the item Zidane had given him.

"Please tell me this isn't one of Kuja's thongs…"

The distant call of "JUST GO AWAY!" and impressive light show that began to rain down on the fleeing Zidane was all the confirmation they did NOT need.

-X-X-X-X-

Lana Morano squealed as she won yet another quick battle on Dissidia with Firion, the hottest hottie in Dissidia's cast of hotties! I mean, really, all Dissidia was was a game for fangirls who loved the men of Final Fantasy!

Lana had bought the game for Cloud, but the Rose Warrior had quickly captured her heart. Let the others have Cloud, as long as she had Firion she was happy.

Turning off her PSP, she bounced over to her laptop, opening the lid and bringing the machine to life. She had her inspiration for the next chapter of her "epic" Firion/OC love story, "Scattered Roses."

Opening up her word processor, she began to write –

'_the crystal walls of pandamoneum glowed as the cruel Emperor approched Rosalyn's fallen form, laughing evilly. _

"_youve lost, little Rosalyn, give urself to me" he said licking his lips. _

"_ewww, never!" Rosalyn said. the Emperor was evil and would most certainly rape her! 'oh, someone help me!' she thought, too weak from the battle to get up and run away. _

"_emperor!1!" a voice called. Rosalyn's face lit up in happieness. _

"_my lurve! u came to save me!" she cried happiely. _

"Oh how quaint, she thinks our Firion will save her out of love," a voice behind Lana stated, making her jump in surprise. Turning, she found herself looking at two oddly dressed women. One had purple hair and was clothed in pink and purple. She wore a headscarf similar to Firion's. The other had long blue-black hair and was dressed in deep purple and gold.

"Who are you?" Lana asked, curious and a bit frightened, seeing as both women were armed, one with a dagger at her waist, the other with a bow and quiver-full of arrows. Both regarded her with contempt.

"I'm Maria and this is Leila," the black haired woman said. "We're here on orders from Princess Hilda and the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction."

Lana blinked, mouth agape like some kind of fish.

"The Great Will has made us aware of all those spewing lies and mistruths about the Warriors fighting in Dissidia in horridly-written accounts called "Fanfiction." So, a truce was called between Cosmos and Chaos until the situation can be rectified," Leila continued, pulling a parchment envelope from her belt-pouch and tossing it at Lana. The young woman caught it automatically.

"Fill out the forms to enroll, if you don't you'll never be able to write a Dissidia Fanfiction again. You must enroll and pass all classes to obtain a license to write for the Eternal Conflict," Maria finished, smirking lightly.

Lana couldn't believe it. She had to be dreaming, either that or too many late nights trying to beat Dissidia had finally fried her brain. Looking down at the envelope, she opened it and pulled out a thick wad of papers.

The first was a formal acceptance letter for the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction that outlined the College's purpose and goal to eradicate bad fanfiction from the Dissidia fandom. It also listed out the numerous royal commissions the college held:

-The Royal House of Cornelia  
>-The Royal House of Fynn<br>-The Royal House of Palamecia  
>-The Royal House of Baron<br>-The Royal House of Alexandria  
>-The Royal House of Archades<p>

The next four pages were a long disclaimer that pertained to the "all injuries are caused by my own stupidity and are not the fault of the staff, associates, or visitors of the RCDF or creatures of the Dissidia: Final Fantasy world" clause, but who ever reads those all the way before signing? Certainly not Lana!

Looking up, Lana found that Maria and Leila had disappeared, leaving her to fill out the forms on her own. Grabbing a pen, Lana began.

The questionnaire form held the heading of BE TRUTHFUL in large, loopy letters. Shrugging, Lana started filling in the various requested information. Many were easy and automatic answers: Name, Age, Race, Gender…

She quickly jotted down "Final Fantasy II" as her favorite Final Fantasy game, only because she knew that's where Firion came from.

"Firion" was also her favorite hero and "none" were her favorite villain. Who in their right mind liked villains?

After numerous questions about plot points from the various Final Fantasy games Lana came to the last three questions.

"Moogle or Chocobo?" Chocobo

"Cosmos or Chaos?" Cosmos

"Class?" she left this blank, not knowing what to put.

After finishing the forms, a sudden exhaustion came over Lana, who quickly fell asleep at her desk. It would be the last truly restful sleep she would get for a good, long while…

-X-X-X-X-

_To be continued…_

Please feel free to tell me your thoughts and send in student applications and Baby Behemoths. Till next time, my friends.


	2. Welcome to Equal Insanity!

The Royal Dissidia College of Fanfiction

Disclaimers: See the Prologue

Chapter Warnings: Violence against manikins, violence against fangirls, light cursing. Kefka…

A/N: Please continue to send student applications and Baby Behemoths. I love Baby Behemoths!

ETA: Repost due to some errors pointed out to me, everything should be fixed nicely now.

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter I – Welcome to Equal Insanity

Lana groaned softly as she came to, she lay face-down in shallow water, dazed and confused.

"Where am I?" she wondered aloud, slowly getting up and looking around her. She realized she was in Order's Sanctuary, the grey clouds lightly rolling over her head. She appeared to be alone, save for a few manikins… manikins that were quickly advancing on her position, weapons drawn.

Lana paled, quickly moving to run in the opposite direction, ready to cry already. Why was this happening? Perhaps this was a really odd dream brought about by too much Dissidia and soda and she'd soon wake up… or better yet her Firion would come save her!

But neither would be the case. Luckily, someone would be saving Lana, just as soon as she got done chortling at the fangirl's expense.

Lana yelled loudly for help, still fleeing the manikins. Without warning, her boot caught on a small stone and she fell face-first into the shallow water. The manikins were closing in fast as Lana was attempting to scramble to her feet. All seemed lost for our poor fangirl when, suddenly…

"Have some more!" A voice yelled. A swirl of energy came circling around, striking all of the manikins, crumbling the crystal beings into shards. Lana instinctively curled into a ball as she was showered with chunks of crystal and rose petals. Wait… rose petals? Looking up, she hoped to see Firion. Instead the sight of a stern-faced, pink-haired woman greeted her.

"Who are you?" Lana asked, breathing heavily from the exertion. The woman shook her head and snorted softly.

"We don't have time for introductions. You're late as it is, should have woken up earlier. Let's go," the woman said, turning and starting to walk away at a brisk pace.

"Hey! Wait up!" Lana cried, scrambling to her feet and dashing after her rescuer.

-X-X-

"Okay! Who let the Baby Behemoth into the castle?" an annoyed Squall questioned, entering the common room of the Cosmos staff section, a little behemoth happily chewing on his leg, slobbering over the black leather. Zidane and Bartz both had to stifle giggles, neither having brought the Behemoth in but the sight of the normally calm and collected Squall flustered by such a little thing was just too much. Fortunately, it was their new compatriot who saved them, the Lady in Red.

"I was wondering where our little Worrier of Light scurried off to," she said, walking up to Squall and pulling the behemoth off his leg, picking it up like a young girl with her first puppy or kitten.

"Worrier of Light?" Squall questioned, one eyebrow arched.

"Yes, a Baby Behemoth created when someone misspelled the Warrior of Light's name," the Lady explained. Another Baby Behemoth bounded over as she set Worrier down, the two starting to play. "And this one is Khaos, another misspelling."

"Awww, how cute!" Terra declared, having a love of all things fluffy.

"Terra that's a…" Cloud began, but shook his head upon seeing the young woman cuddle the two Baby Behemoths, the two acting like overgrown puppies, nuzzling and licking Terra's face in reply.

"The staff has nothing to fear from Worrier and Khaos, they're only vicious to the students," the Lady stated, standing in an at-ease pose as she looked at Cloud, who nodded. "With hope we should be getting more of these little beasties."

"You lot best prepare yourselves, Lightning and Kain have corralled all our little wayward students," Mateus stated, standing in the doorway to the Cosmos common room. The Emperor has been elected the Chaos side's diplomat to the Cosmos side almost by default. Firion still declared the system that elected him rigged…

"We are prepared," the Warrior of Light replied, nodding curtly to Mateus.

-X-X-

Lana was led to a large castle near Order's Sanctuary surrounded by a lush courtyard of greenery. They entered through an ornate gateway bearing the words "Learning Through Pain," walked across a large cobblestone courtyard and up the front steps of the castle to an elaborate set of doors, opening them to reveal a large, long hallway.

Portraits were hung on the walls; some of people Lana recognized and others she didn't. Part of her wondered who the pretty lady with Cecil was, but the pink-haired woman was moving deeper into the palace and through another set of doors. Lana ran after her, despite the fact her legs were screaming in protest from the previous activity.

Lana had been led into a large auditorium where she found herself in a small sea of people. Noting the pink-haired woman moving up to the front to talk to a man in purple armor with draconic features, Lana sighed and went to find an open seat. She eventually found one where she was sandwiched between two girls; one with large rabbit ears and other rabbit-like features and dressed in black, the other was a regular human dressed in a plain blue tunic. She would later learn the proper term for such bunny girls was "Viera."

"Hello, latecomer," the Viera said, smirking lightly. "Looks like Lightning went easy on you."

"Lightning?" Lana asked. The Viera gave her a funny look.

"You can't be serious," the other girl stated. "Lightning's the best thing to come from Square in _years._ Finally, a woman we can be proud of!"

"That's enough chatter," a loud voice stated. All eyes turned to the front of the room where a woman dressed in a red tunic with a long, flowing red cape trimmed in gold stood. Clipped in her pixie-cut hair was a red jewel with a long, white feather attached. She was leaning against the podium, two odd purple animals played at her booted feet.

"Welcome to the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction, a place to learn and grow your skills in writing and especially when writing about Dissidia: Final Fantasy. I am your Course Coordinator, the Lady in Red, Master Red Mage of this College. All Red Mages will report to me," the woman said. The room remained silent, the students lightly fidgeting in their seats. Lana was slightly confused… what was a Red Mage?

"This is Orientation Week, where you'll have the opportunity to explore the castle and grounds. The only areas off-limits are the Staff Section and the other arenas. The manikin level outside of Equal Insanity is too high to safely allow untrained students out without an escort," the Lady in Red continued. It was at that point a young blond man came running up to the Lady. Armor on his legs make a soft clanking noise.

"Security breech!" He called. "Firion, Laguna, and Tidus have it handled, though. Couple of Sues with the help of a few Manikins got over the wall."

"Thank you, Vaan," the Lady said, waving the young man away. It was then he looked around, realizing there were a shit-ton of hormonal girls between him and the exit… and more than a few were starting to get up.

The two other warriors – Kain and Lightning, Lana would soon learn – drew their weapons, standing between Vaan and the fangirls.

"Teleport!" The Lady in Red cried, one hand placed on Vaan's shoulder. Lana blinked, and in a flash of light, Vaan was gone.

"RULE ONE! NO GLOMPING!" The Lady yelled at the assembled students. "Kefka! Show them what happens to glompers!"

The student body looked up to see the much-hated Mad Mage floating above them, previously unnoticed, permanent grin wider than ever.

"This is gonna hurt," he said, hearing the delicious screams of pain and fear.

-X-X-X-X-

_To be continued…_


	3. Settling In

The Royal Dissidia College of Fanfiction  
>by<br>Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: See the Prologue

Chapter Warnings: Perky fangirls, heavy books, Laguna baby-talk, Interesting alterations to armor

A/N: For Distant Glory. Thanks for pointing out 'amor.'

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter II – Settling In

Lana groaned softly as she awoke, blinking lightly. Luckily, the light level was low and she was in a bottom bunk, blocking most of the light from the small overhead lamp. A face appeared over the side of the top bunk, perky and alert.

"Yay! She lives!" the girl stated. From across the room two more faces peeked over at Lana, curious. Lana put a hand to her head, the noise making her headache worse.

"Here, they left these for us, saying they knew just the fear of Kefka's "Lickety-Split Thundaga" would stick in our minds long after the pain passed," a calm voice stated. It came from the girl in the bottom bunk on the other side of the room. She handed Lana a blue potion bottle and Lana happily opened it to take a swig… and immediately regretted it.

"Oh ewww!" Lana cried, the liquid lightly burning her throat. "What's in this?"

"My guess was vodka, that's what it tasted like to me… if you don't want the rest can I have it?" the girl on the opposite top bunk asked. Lana was about to say yes when the bottom-bunk girl spoke again.

"You know what they said, the person who opens the bottle must use it all," she said. Lana sighed and finished her potion slowly. Fortunately, there was only enough liquid for a few mouthfuls.

The girl in the bunk above Lana's swung down to sit next to her, smiling. All four girls were dressed in a blue tunic with brown breeches and boots.

"Introductions!" the perky girl chirped. "I'm SquallGal."

"Morriah SilverLance," the calmer girl who had given Lana the potion said, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the bed-post.

"Torri," the top-bunk vodka lover said, waving at Lana.

"I'm Lana," she said, looking at her roommates. Their room was big enough for two bunk beds and two sets of shelves holding an extra set of clothes for each girl and two towels a piece, with plenty of free shelf space for the numerous textbooks they would soon obtain. Four leathers bags emblazoned with the school's coat of arms hung on pegs over thick red cloaks for winter near the door.

A harsh pounding on the door made all four girls jump.

"Report to the common room immediately! The Lady in Red isn't finished with you yet!"

"The Warrior of Light…" Torri said dreamily. Lana heard SquallGal gag and definitely agreed with the sentiment. The Warrior was okay in the looks department, but had little to no personality. Not like her kind and loving Firion.

Not wanting to face anything like Lickity-Split Thundaga again, the four girls left their room and walked down the short hallway to their common room. The large area was occupied with desks and couches as well as a large fire place. Standing before it was the Lady in Red and the Warrior of Light. The mighty Warrior's sword was in his grip, tip placed against the stone of the hearth, hands folded over the hilt. One of the Baby Behemoths lay at the Warrior's feet, hissing and growling at the fangirls as they entered the room to stand before the Warrior and the Lady in a semi-circle, a few feet between them and the pair.

There were 20 students in all; mostly female, but a small handful of fanboys also occupied the room. Most wore the same blue tunic, but some wore other types and colors of tunics and a few were armored lightly.

"Well, good to see you all recovered, I think we've learned one of the most important lessons of RCDF and Rule 1, NO glomping. As previously stated, I am your Course Coordinator, the Lady in Red. Any worth-while complains should be directed to my office," she watched the assembled group with wary eyes, ready to call upon of the Chaos Mages or her own magic should the fans attempt to stampede.

"Rule 2, you will not write a single word of fanfiction while you are here. You lost that privilege when you signed the agreement," the Warrior of Light continued, his words met by annoyed grumbling, but most fans knew not to mess with a man who had a sword in his grasp.

"Rule 3, you will attend all classes and seminars. Failure to pass a class will lead to painful remedial courses. Failure to pass remedial courses will earn you another year with us," the Lady said, quieting the group with a silence spell.

"Rule 4, all weapons will be left in the practice arena. Anyone caught sneaking even the smallest of daggers or kunai will face cleaning duties in the Chocobo stables on top of punishment," the Warrior said. Lana tilted her head, weapons? Where they going to be learning how to fight? However, the Lady's spell was still in effect, making her unable to voice any questions.

"We will now distribute schedules and castle maps, as well as your student handbooks detailing all the rules and regulations of the school. Pay particular attention to the section detailing your responsibilities and expectations during visitor weeks. Please step forward when you hear your name," the Lady said before beginning to call names.

-X-X-X-X-

The silence spell took around an hour to wear off, giving the group of students plenty of time to look over the handbook and their schedules for the coming semester. But once the spell faded, the squee-ing and schedule comparing began.

"Cecil's teaching! Cecil's teaching!" one girl, Luna Rowhiden, cried happily as she danced in a circle, clutching her schedule to her chest. Indeed, Cecil Harvey would be teaching "Love Thy Grammar."

After that, Emperor Mateus would be teaching "The Nature of Evil 101." Lana grimaced at that prospect.

They also had "Job Search and Weapons Training – Various Instructors." Which made Lana more curious, why did they need jobs? But perhaps the weapons training would be fun.

After that they would be attending a class called "Distant Worlds – A Brief Introduction to Each Final Fantasy." No instructor was listed for this class, pulling whispers and speculation from more than one student.

"Hey guys, we have to get our books from the Book Depot," Morriah said, pointing to a note written at the top of her schedule. "Probably best to do it now."

"Why now?" SquallGal asked, a bit upset Squall wasn't listed as a teacher on her schedule.

"Think about it. Most people wait until the last minute. Going now will save us trouble later," Morriah reasoned, going and getting her bag.

"If you say so," Lana replied, getting up and getting her bag as well.

The foursome were the only ones to leave the dorm to go get their books, the rest staying to plot ways to get their lust objects to fall for them. Torri had been designated their map-reader and Morriah their leader. Lana gazed lightly at the walls, noting propaganda posters bearing interesting slogans.

"_Beat Down the False Imitations! Every Manikin destroyed is a life saved!" _

"_Report Mary-Sues! It's your Cosmos-designated duty!" _

"We're on the Cosmos side of the fortress it seems," Torri stated as they walked, pointing out the right hallways and staircases to take.

They soon reached a large set of doors, and upon opening them, the four found themselves in a huge book depository. Therein lay shelves upon shelves of books. At the front of the room was a desk where Ultimecia sat, the Time Sorceress reading a thick tome, pages turning with a flick of a clawed hand. Lana gulped, knowing how dangerous Ultimecia was. But Morriah was their brave leader and walked right up to the desk.

"We're here to pick up our books, please," Morriah said. Ultimecia held out a clawed hand.

"Schedules?" the time witch asked lazily. Morriah gathered the group's schedules before handing them to Ultimecia. The Time Witch looked them over before using magic to pull the necessary books off the shelves for the foursome. The four girls ducked as the large books came sailing around, nearly hitting them several times, as they landed in neat stacks on the desk. They quickly packed them away before getting their schedules back from Ultimecia.

"Thank you," Morriah said, grunting lightly with the weight of the books. Ultimecia just offered an evil chuckle in reply.

-X-X-X-X-

"Well, that went rather well. No one stampeded," the Warrior of Light stated as he and the Lady in Red started to make their way back to the staff section, all schedules passed out for the first semester.

"It helped that we only restored a little bit of their energy. It'll take at least two days of rest to recover fully from Kefka's attack," the Lady commented, tossing a small ball for Worrier to chase down. The Warrior chortled softly at that, Kefka had been extremely pleased with his work, having forced Kuja into a waltz with him after he had fried all the students into submission. ("Come! Revel in the destruction with me, my angel!" Kefka had declared. Even after over a hundred Flare Stars, Kefka still thought he had a chance to woo Kuja… bets had been placed.)

The Lady herself couldn't help but chuckle at the memory, until something large grabbed the back of her cloak, nearly choking her as she was lifted up by the scruff of the neck and brought face-to-helm with Garland.

"My Lady, a word," the large, armored warrior said. The Warrior of Light had stopped as well; hand on the hilt of his sword incase Garland decided to get nasty. Even with the truce in place, Cosmos and Chaos warriors were naturally wary of one another. But upon seeing his hated opponent, the Warrior immediately had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. The Lady herself, upon seeing Garland's predicament, had to bite the inside of her cheek.

"Um… your fearsomeness… what happened?" the Lady asked, barely able to contain her giggles. Hearts… large, pink and red hearts had been painted all over Garland's armor. Garland just pulled out a scroll, opening it and holding it up for the Lady to take and read.

"I'm sure you can fix this?" he said, eyes flashing bright gold behind his helm.

"Oh my, it does appear to be my fault… it will be fixed post-haste, make no mistake," the Lady replied, looking up at Garland upon seeing the mistake.

"Good," Garland said, setting the Lady in Red down on her feet before stalking off, wrapping his cloak around himself to keep anyone else from seeing the embarrassing alteration to his armor. It was only after he was out of earshot that the Lady and the Warrior burst out laughing, leaning on one another for support. "Amor…" a simple mistake, truly…

-X-X-X-

In the Cosmos common room, a door slammed rather harder than it had to. Looking up from his lecture notes, Laguna Loire started to chortle softly at the sight before him. It was starting to become familiar, but would never cease to entertain the gunner.

"This is NOT funny," Squall growled, eye developing a twitch. Another Baby Behemoth was merrily "attacking" Squall, nipping at his booted feet.

"Aww, the widdle Behemoths just looove their Uncle Squall, don't you?" Laguna cooed, getting up to pick up Shanttotto and nuzzle her as she licked his face. Squall just fumed, glaring at his father as he spoke in baby-talk to the "widdle Behemoth."

The Warrior of Light looked up from his book to take note of the new Behemoth arrival, Worrier of Light lying at his feet. Slowly, more Baby Behemoths had begun to appear, and they all seemed to gravitate towards Squall for some reason. Possibly because they knew Squall was a loner and didn't particularly like animals, they were funny that way.

Warrior scratched under Worrier's chin with a booted foot, pulling a gentle purr-like noise from the Behemoth. The little thing had quickly taken to his namesake once they had found one another, now the Behemoth refused to leave Warrior's side. Thankfully, they had found a sturdy bone he could chew on and worry as opposed to Squall's leg, the furniture, or the boots of the various warriors.

At that moment there was a loud explosion and a high-pitched scream. Firion looked up from where he lay on one of the couches, worn out from fighting manikins and Mary-Sues. He had found a Baby Behemoth called Firioner while on patrol and the little thing was lying over his chest, allowing his namesake to pet and cuddle him.

"Ah, the sound of fangirl being hit by a Thunder Crest and Flare," Firion stated, smirking almost evilly.

Firion was the fan authors' favorite target for pairing with half-baked Mary-Sues, so he took a very un-Cosmos warrior glee in their pain. He wasn't looking forward to the class he would be teaching - "The Art of Bromance." Tidus would be his co-lecturer, but that only brought up more problems than solutions.

Warrior looked over at him with a concerned look in his eyes. "The Lady would never let any fangirl get close to us, you know that Firion."

"They are crafty, but hopefully the Lady is craftier. It certainly was a good idea to switch the door labels for the Cosmos and Chaos common rooms… I wonder how long it'll take before they realize the switch," Firion mused, scratching Firioner's head, listening to the noises of fangirl pain.

-X-X-X-X-

_To be continued… _


	4. Let the Classes Begin!

The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction  
>by<br>Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: See the prologue.

Chapter Warnings: Warrior stealing chocolate, Cecil's Paladin Smile, possibly disturbing mention of historical condoms, violence against fangirls.

A/N: Yes, we are still accepting student applications and Baby Behemoths. We need more Baby Behemoths, especially!

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter III – Let the Classes Begin!

In all, the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction had 20 dormitories, each holding 20 students apiece. Each dorm was headed by a different Cosmos or Chaos warrior. Lana and her group were living under the Warrior of Light's rule in Cosmos Dorm I.

The students in Cosmos Dorm I had quickly uncovered they were to be living under a military-esq schedule. They were to wake and dress at 6:30 am, make their beds, and report to the common room while their sleeping quarters were inspected by the Warrior of Light for contraband, accompanied by Worrier.

They quickly discovered "contraband" included any chocolate they had managed to obtain from the Moogle supply shop, which could cost as high as 500 KP on some days; which was also excruciatingly difficult to earn for fangirls. Protests about the loss only earned them a "Shield of Light" before getting gnawed on by Worrier.

After inspection, they reported to the Dining Hall for breakfast, which began at 7:30 am and lasted till 8:30 am. Breakfast consisted of a bowl of grits and water; a few slices of bacon were included on Sundays. During Orientation Week, they had been allowed to explore the castle and extensive grounds, all encased in 12 foot high stone walls, but now that classes were beginning there would be none of that.

Two new Behemoths had joined the ranks of the Lady in Red's small pack: Teria, and Lunar Subterean. They ran through the halls at night to keep the fangirls in their rooms. Being the size of German Shepherds and weighing an average of 150 lbs, they could certainly move quickly and hit hard.

Several fangirls who had been caught by the Baby Behemoths were in the hospital wing, being patched up by Yuna and Aerith. Having a Baby Behemoth crash into you at high speeds makes for the breakage of many bones.

And all attempts to find the Staff Section were proving to be highly unsuccessful. The castle had many rooms and corridors, and sometimes it even seemed to move around. Every fangirl that managed to find the Staff Section soon found themselves at the mercy of the magics of the Mages as well as the Baby Behemoths taking them by the leg and dragging them through the hallways on their nightly rounds.

-X-X-

"All students will report to their lecture halls or the training field at 8:45 am. Anyone caught wandering the halls after 8:45 will be given to Kefka for experimentation," the Lady in Red had threatened that morning at breakfast.

At 8:40 am, Lana found herself among the crowd in front of Lecture Hall F's door, waiting to be let in. Her bag was heavy with the grammar books Cecil had assigned for his class as well as the book for Emperor Mateus's class right after.

The chatter among the fangirls was mostly about Cecil himself. "Wonder if he'll be in Dark Knight or Paladin form?" one girl, Jacylin wondered.

"Ooooh, I hope Paladin, that way we can see his pretty face!" Luna squealed, dancing in a circle.

"But while he's a Dark Knight we can oogle that scrumptious booty," Jacylin stated, pulling many an agreement from some of the others.

Lana lightly rolled her eyes at all the hullabaloo. Yes, Cecil was pretty, but he was far too feminine for her tastes. Honestly, if your boyfriend was prettier than you something was very, very wrong.

At that moment, the door to the Lecture Hall opened via magic, allowing the herd of fangirls to filter in. Small scuffles broke out over the seats closest to the dais where Cecil would be standing.

"That's quite enough!" a stern voice called. The girls all quieted as the Lady in Red entered the room, Kain Highwind following closely. A few girls swooned at the sight of the dragoon, who only sneered in reply. On one arm he wore and armband emblazoned with the words "Save Cecil's Marriage!" The two made their way to the dais, Kain standing in front of it, spear in hand.

"Kain and I have a few announcements for you before your instructor arrives. First and foremost – Cecil is married, taken, tied down, game over!" the Lady said to much protest. "Secondly, Kain is here to protect Cecil from you all. Try anything and he has permission to show you just how high a dragoon can jump."

Kain smirked his trademark "dark-dragoon-about-to-screw-you-over" smirk that stuck fear into the hearts of fangirls and NPCs alike. The girls in the front row paled a bit, sinking low in their seats. Even Lana, who wasn't aware of Kain's role in Final Fantasy IV, sunk down into her seat, lightly fiddling with her pen in attempt to look inconspicuous.

Luckily, it was that moment that Cecil appeared with Golbez and Lunar Subterane, one of the more interesting Baby Behemoths that had taken to following the half-Lunarian brothers around. Instead of the usual purple, he was a soft grey color.

"Honestly, I think you got me more lost than I was, brother," Cecil stated. "Sorry for being a bit late, everyone."

The Paladin flashed his winning smile, causing once hot-blooded fangirls preparing to leap to swoon and melt into little puddles of fangirl goo. Few things could withstand the Paladin Smile(TM) of Cecil Harvey. Kain had his protective helm and the Lady had put on a pair of sunglasses to avoid being effected by said smile.

"Remember ladies, taken," the Lady in Red stated before removing her sunglasses and heading to leave, planning to check on the other classes. The Paladin approached the dais, Subtereane prancing next to him happily. Golbez took a spot at the back of the class in a shadowy corner as Cecil set his things on the desk and got his notes in order.

"Welcome to "Love Thy Grammar." Here you'll learn how to use and apply proper Grammar to better your writing. Those who perform poorly will have to participate in the weekly Grammar Boot Camps with Garland on Saturdays," Cecil said, moving to the chalkboard and starting to write down the day's lesson.

There was a scramble for pen and paper as the class began to take notes. Thus they fell under the spell of the voice of Cecil, a power previously unknown to man.

-X-X-

Other than the lack of glomping and ability to molest Cecil, his class had been pleasant. Lunar Subterean had dozed on the edge of the dais while Kain and Golbez had stood guard.

The next class was not going to be so pleasant. A feeling of dread washed over Lana as she entered into the Lecture Hall. Emperor Mateus was already there, a throne had been placed on the dais to compliment Mateus' personality in addition to the large, mahogany desk. He had laid a ring of Thunder Crests around the dais in case the students attempted to stampede. Once the class had assembled and taken their seats, seats farthest from the dais filling first, Mateus cleared his throat.

"Welcome to the "Nature of Evil 101." Passing this class is a requirement for both "Reforming Evil" and "The Fuzzy Grey Area." You should all be aware that the nature of _true_ evil is extremely complex. Your final exam will be an essay detailing a Xanatos Gambit for a scenario I assign you," Mateus began, claw-like fingers laced as his elbows rested on the armrest, the perfect picture of an evil ruler in repose.

"Xanatos Gambit?" One brave student asked, causing Mateus to chuckle darkly.

"A plan in which all outcomes benefit the planner. Take, for example, my kidnapping of Princess Hilda, leader of the Wild Rose Rebellion. If Firion and his friends manage to survive the monsters in my coliseum, they will find a Lamia Queen in place of the Princess. Either way, they die now or they die later, and I still have their leader. I win," Mateus stated with a smirk. "Oh, you might mention the Lamia Queen Incident to Firion… the boy loves to tell the story!"

Mateus's evil smirk and dark chuckle made the fangirls uneasy and think that perhaps that wasn't a very good idea. However, everyone knows what they say about curiosity and cats…

"However, as good an example as I may be, this class is all about the nature of evil. It is a subject that is very often touched upon in your… stories… but rarely is it treated for what it is. Now, the Lady in Red has provided we Chaos warriors with the tales you've written about us. We are not amused," he settled the class with a dark glare. "Villains do NOT always take hostages of pretty women, rape them, and then just gloat until the hero comes and defeats us. Its cliché and sloppy, and any villain worth his salt will know that you just don't sleep unknown women. More empires have been toppled due to sexually transmitted diseases than one would like to admit…"

"Guess villains never heard of condoms…" someone stated off-handedly. Mateus gagged lightly.

"Well, if _you_ want to shove a length of pig intestine over your penis, be my guest," the Emperor stated, much to the horror and disgust of the entire room, pulling a deep, evil chuckle from their instructor.

-X-X-

"What do we have next?" Lana asked her friends, very glad to be away from Mateus and in the dining hall for lunch. The Emperor has excellent control over his students through a mix of fear and gentlemanly charm. The four roommates were gathered together in the Dining Hall, trying to keep a low profile as they ate.

"That Job Search class," Morriah replied, poking lightly at the traveling rations that made up the fangirl's daily meal. They were expected to eat hard tack, dried, salted meat, dried fruit, and nothing but water to drink. The Staff were allotted hot, good food. The scents wafting from the Staff table make the student's mouths water, even after just one week of the rations.

SquallGal had been the first to learn to soak her hard tack in water before attempting to eat it. Lana was halfway certain she had chipped several teeth attempting to eat hers already.

"Wonder who'll be teaching. Our schedules do say "Varied Instructors." Maybe it'll be Squall!" SquallGal declared, tiny hearts starting to emit from her head.

"SquallGal… you're heart-farting again…" Torri stated, nibbling at a piece of dried peach. SquallGal giggled and squeed as the hearts stopped appearing.

Lana sighed softly, poking at the dried meat on her plate. Today was shaping to up to be a rather tedious day. She had yet to catch sight of Firion, as he never took meals in the Dining Hall. Over the past week she had heard about him appearing in various places, usually heading away from the castle to fight Mary-Sues or manikins with various other warriors and a Baby Behemoth by his side. Lana wondered if perhaps the Baby Behemoth would like some of the salted meat they got daily…

A loud bell woke her from her daydreams about Firion, it was the bell that signaled the end of the lunch period and beginning of their afternoon classes.

"Better get going," Morriah stated, still appearing to be their leader. She got up, shouldering her bag as the four headed out towards the practice field.

-X-X-X-

_To be continued…_


	5. Learning On!

The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction  
>by<br>Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: See the prologue.

Chapter Warnings: Warrior and Bartz teaching, horrendous homework levels, the Lady in Red, gay slang, Uncle Laguna

A/N: Thanks to Senshi of Sadness and my truly anonymous reviewer, who have both found Baby Behemoths for me. The pack is growing!

Student Submission is still open. I'll let you all know when it shuts down.

Also, please go vote in the poll on my profile if you would. I'd appreciated it.

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter 4 – Learning On!

"All right, fill in!" The Warrior of Light called as the students filled in to sit on benches set up in a semi-circle on the practice field. The Warrior and Bartz stood before a large chalkboard, blank save for the name of the class.

"Hey everyone!" Bartz said, smiling at the group.

"Hello, Bartz!" some of the girls chirped back. The Warrior of Light rolled his eyes, his tolerance for such fangirl behavior low this late in the day.

"Welcome to Job Search and Weapons Training. Here you will uncover your job, also known as your class. Right now, a great many of you are Freelancers, people who can change into any job. You will attend Job Search until you find your job and then you will go into specialized training under one of the warriors of either Cosmos or Chaos," The Warrior explained. That caused a great deal of chatter among the students. Lana herself was wondering what class Firion was. This was the perfect opportunity to get close to her man!

"But before we get started actually looking for your Jobs, we're going to teach you all about the different jobs... show you the possibilities," Bartz stated, turning over the chalkboard to reveal the list of classes written in rather small print. Lana's eyes widened, seeing the possibilities. The Warrior of Light picked up a spear, pointing to the first class on the upper left corner of the board.

"We start with the Warrior or Knight class. _My _class. We are honorable and noble, fighting for just causes with sword and shield," the Warrior began, looking around at the students. "Why aren't you lot talking notes?" There was a scramble for pen and paper as the Warrior began listing the types of arms and armament the warrior class could use.

"And don't forget about the Dark Knight class. It's just like the Knight class, except Dark Knights are evil," Bartz said once the Warrior was done.

"But… Cecil's a Dark Knight. He's not evil," one of the fangirls stated.

"Cecil is also a Paladin, a powerful variation of the Warrior class as well as the most honorable," the Warrior stated. "You'll learn more about Cecil's special case in the 'Distant Worlds' class. This is Job Search; we've a lot to cover and not much time. No more irrelevant questions or statements."

By the time all of the classes had been explained, Lana's hand was cramping and her brain was spinning. Who knew there were so many classes and variations of said classes? At the end of the lesson, each student was given two classes to read up on and write a paper over.

"You must discuss the strengths, weaknesses, arms, and armament of your assigned class as well as give a short biography over a notable warrior in the class. They can be a warrior who fights for good or ill. Five page minimum for both essays, you all have til Friday," The Warrior said after giving each student their classes.

Lana had been assigned Berserkers and Time Mages. The bell signaling the end of class rung loudly, pulling many students out of the stupor they had fallen in. With a soft sigh, Lana packed up her notes, got up, and headed for her next class. Thus far, no instructor had skipped on giving some kind of assignment. For Cecil, they had two and a half pages of sentence editing to do. For the Emperor, they have to read the first five chapters in _The Big Book of Evil _and summarize them… by tomorrow! And now TWO five-page papers to write for the Warrior. Could this get any worse?

-X-X-

Lecture Hall "K" was half-full when Lana arrived. On the walls were large prints of art, all in the same style and by the same artist. Standing on the dais was the Lady in Red and Kuja, the pair admiring a print of what appeared to be the Warrior of Light fending off a full-grown Behemoth.

"Yes, I absolutely love his style. The way he draws cloth and patterns makes me jealous," the Lady stated, ignoring her students for the moment.

"Mmm, he makes lips look so kissable," Kuja stated, voice a silky purr. Lana couldn't help but gag. Kuja was her least favorite villain in Dissidia. She knew enough to know that wearing a throng into battle was probably a bad choice and damn was he a hard opponent to beat!

"Well, I'll talk to you more about your class later, Kuja," the Lady said, glancing behind her at her assembled class.

"Alright, gosling, we'll speak again," Kuja said. Lightly, he and the Lady kissed one another's cheeks in the "Kiss, Kiss, Darling" greeting before the Chaos mage disappeared. Looking at her assembled class, the Lady in Red's demeanor suddenly changed from calm to harsh.

"Breathe a word and you're dead," she intoned.

"You're in love with KUJA?" One brave fangirl called out, unable to get the disgust out of her voice. Lana noticed the Lady's eye twitch.

"Point one, a kiss doesn't mean you're in love with someone, especially if it's just on the cheek. Point two, Kuja unfortunately isn't woman enough for me. I'm afraid my girl back home would disapprove. Point three, you are an idiot," the Lady declared, the scent of fire and brimstone starting to fill the room. The once brave fangirl shrank down in her seat. "And if someone so much as THINKS the words "fag hag" they will be drawn and quartered!"

The Lady in Red paused to take a few steadying breaths. Berserk Button located, press at your own risk…

"So, thanks to your friend there, everyone will write a 3,000 word paper on Platonic Relationships, even though you lot won't have "The Art of Bromance" until next semester. Best to start molding your minds now," the Lady said to much grumbling. "Due on Odin's day, fanthings!"

Lana looked to Morriah, who was sitting next to her left, mouthing "Odin's day?" Morriah silently mouthed back, "Wednesday."

"All right, high time to get started, this is 'Distant Worlds – A Brief Introduction to Each Final Fantasy.' In addition to your regular lessons, you will also be treated to guest lecturers during the Visitor's Weeks, and by the time you leave my class you should have a working knowledge of the various home canons of the Dissidia warriors. By show of hands, who here has played a Final Fantasy game, other than Dissidia?"

A great many hands shot up.

"Okay, how many have played a Final Fantasy other than VII, VIII, or X?"

Hands dropped, leaving around half the class.

"Other than XIII, XII, or IV?"

More hands dropped.

"Lastly, other than VI or IX?"

The hands were finally mostly dropped, only a few here and there were still up.

"Just as I suspected, well we shall begin today with a little test to see what we all know. Then I shall pass out your first text book, "_Square's Darkest Hour: The Birth of a Legacy_." Like any good story, we will begin at the beginning. Also, as a note, you will not be able to get any of the books for this class at the Book Depot, in case you misplace your copies. By order of the Board of Directors, we cannot allow these books into the hands of the canon characters. Got it?" the Lady in Red gave the class a piercing glare. Upon getting an affirmative answer from the students, the Lady began to place a thick test in front of each student via magic. Lana paled as she flipped hers over and began reading the first few questions:

_Name the classes featured in the first Final Fantasy. OTHER than Warrior._

_What is the significance of the Rat's Tail item? _

_Name the Four Friends and their accompanying elements. _

_Which place was visited LAST?_

_Cornelia_

_The Chaos Shrine_

_Elfheim_

_The Flying Fortress_

Lana lightly chewed on her pencil eraser, deciding just to start guessing. Like many girls of her generation, she had not had access to video games until she was old enough to buy them herself; a product of the out-dated school of thought that video games were only for boys. Her first exposure to Final Fantasy had been _Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children._

With a satisfied smirk, the Lady sat down upon her chair, a heavy throne-like construct, putting her feet up on the desk. The sound of pencil moving over paper was soothing to her ears, almost as soothing as Frank Sinatra… almost…

Lana was about half-way through her test when there was a knock at the door to the lecture hall. Curious and bored heads popped up at the noise. The Lady sighed as she got up from her chair, walking to open the door.

"Yes, Laguna?" she said after opening the door.

"Sorry to interrupt your class, but the Man in Black is at the gate, demanding to see you," Laguna stated. Lana heard the Lady in Red growl lightly.

"Take over. Collect their tests when the fanthings are finished and give them one of the text books from the stack behind the desk. They can go after that," the Lady instructed.

"But I thought you said we weren't allowed to see those particular books," Laguna stated.

"I know what was said. As long as you don't actually READ the books the Board of Directors will be content," the Lady said. Laguna nodded, entering the room as the Lady left. He looked over the class as he walked up to the dais, hopping up to sit on the desk, smiling at the group.

"Well, Uncle Laguna's gonna watch over you ikle fangirls and fanboys! Anybody who wants to make trouble for Uncle Laguna will get to make friendly with the business end of a machine gun, 'kay?"

No one was about to argue with a man who could smile happily while saying that and quickly went back to work on their tests. However, all minds had the same question – who was the Man in Black?

-X-X-

The Warrior of Light stood watching the gate that led to the various other arenas of the Dissidia world. Currently, the Lady in Red and her opponent the Man in Black could be in any one of the arenas, fighting to the death.

"Worried about her?" A silky voice asked. The Warrior turned to see Sephiroth approaching, stopping to stand next him.

"In a word… yes. She's still not ready to face him fully," the Warrior replied, looking back to the gate. Sephiroth chuckled.

"You sound like a mother hen," Sephiroth said. "Even if she is defeated, we just have to ask Chaos to summon the Dragon and reset her again."

"Do you remember what happened the last time we did that?" the Warrior asked, settling Sephiroth with a glare. The one-winged angel just shrugged.

"Small price to pay," he commented. The Warrior snorted in reply, walking towards the gate.

"You Chaos warriors are all the same. I'm going to assist her," the Warrior said as he summoned his sword and shield, wondering exactly where the Lady and the Man had gone to fight this time.

"If you continue to coddle her she won't ever learn how to fight for herself," Sephiroth stated as the Warrior passed through the gates, disappearing. The Silver General snorted softly, turning to head back into the castle.

-X-X-X-X-

_To be continued…_

-Note!- Anyone who can correctly answer all the test questions featured in this chapter will get e-cookies and respect! 83


	6. Down the Plot Hole

**The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction  
><strong>by  
>Draco's Daughter<p>

Disclaimer: See the prologue

Chapter Warnings: Light Violence against Fangirls, Plot Holes, Monster Amounts of Homework

A/N: Hey, guys! When you send me Baby Behemoths, please let me know where you found them by sending a link to the story in which they were found. I can't take a Baby Behemoth like "Four Friends" without context; even if you're 99.9% sure they really meant "Four Fiends." We don't want to create intentional Baby Behemoths, that's a very shameful act.

Also, the poll on my profile is still open! Go vote for your 2 favorite Firion pairings from the choices!

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter 4 – Down the Plot Hole

Classes wrapped up at about 3:00 pm, save for those students who had managed detentions. Lana sighed heavily as she shouldered her bag, wanting nothing more than to go back to the dorm, flop down on her bed, and nap for a few hours. Her roommates had other plans.

"Come on, Lana, we're heading to the library," Morriah stated, grabbing Lana's arms and nearly dragging her towards the aforementioned location.

"Nooo, wanna sleep," Lana protested, trying to escape Morriah's grip. Torri just grabbed her other arm, helping pull her along.

"Two and a half pages of sentence editing for Cecil, summaries for Mateus; both are due tomorrow. Do them and we'll let you go do what you want," Morriah said. SquallGal skipped ahead of them, humming merrily.

"I'll see you guys later, I have a club meeting!" The perky girl said, waving as she left.

During Orentation Week, students had been given the opportunity to start student-led clubs. They had to apply for official charter and register all members with Cosmos, who had been appointed Director of Student Life. The clubs so-far included: The Slasher Society, Canon Crusaders, Cosmos Compatriots, the Cult of Kefka, Silver Elite – Dissidia Branch (Sephiroth's fanclub), and the Firion Fanatics. Lana had already joined the Firion Fanatics, but their first meeting wasn't until Saturday. SquallGal hadn't really said what club she had jointed, but no one had really asked either.

-X-X-

Lana had only been in the library once during Orentation Week. Shantotto ran the library and had strict rules in place. A plaque on the door read: "This room will remain in silence, any who break it will be met with violence!" So it was most definitely _not_ the hang-out most school libraries had become in regular schools. But it was a common place to find one's Lust Object so fangirls came anyways. The staff had a private seating area on the Library's second level. Sephiroth was seen the most often, usually sharing tea and old novels with Judge Gabranth.

Torri scouted out an empty table for the group; all those with a good view of the staff seating were full on girls ignoring their studies to ogle Squall, who was attempting to escape the Baby Behemoth curse that had befallen him. (Kefka had been the most recent character to obtain a Baby Behemoth, Quefka. Quefka had revealed his presence by pouncing on a sleeping Squall and setting fire to his bed. Kefka was most proud.)

"SquallGal will be sooo jealous when we tell her we saw Squall," Lana whispered to Morriah as they sat down at an empty table a good ways away from the staff seating.

"Less ogling, more studying," Morriah said, pulling out books and papers to begins her homework. Lana pouted, but copied her actions all the same.

The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction was turning out to be more boring than Lana had originally imagined. Morriah had become the mother hen of their group, leading the group around the school and deciding what they were going to do and where they would go. Torri had become her second-in-command, enforcing her decisions. SquallGal had the pluck and bravery to go against Morriah and do her own thing. But Lana was the kind of person that needed to be part of a group, so she went along with whatever Morriah and Torri did. Hopefully, she would meet some new friends at the meeting Saturday…

"So the plan is in place?" Lana heard Jacylin whisper. Jacylin was holding court at a nearby table with a handful of students, all known members of the "Cecil's Consorts," a clandestine group of students who loved Cecil a bit too much. None of them had taken very kindly to the Lady in Red's announcement that Cecil was a married man and thus unavailable to them.

"After much trial and error, I've made a list of possible locations of the Staff Section," Jacylin continued. Upon hearing that, Lana shared a glance with Torri and Morriah, who had also started to eavesdrop on the group. "Also, I've managed to come up with a schedule of where the Baby Behemoths will be at what times." The other Cecil's Consorts began to whisper excitedly.

"So we will all take a location to check for the Staff Section. She who manages to find the true location will bring back Cecil for the rest of the group to share," Jacylin finished. "I've located an unused dungeon deep in the bowels of the castle where we can keep him, here." She pointed to a location on a map.

"That's a stupid plan and you know it," Torri said, causing all heads to turn to look at her.

"How dare you eavesdrop!" Jacylin declared in a loud voice. Morriah grimaced, that was sure to bring the wrath of Shantotto down upon them. Subtly, she began to pack her things away.

"Kinda hard not to in a silent library and you're sitting right next to us," Torri replied, shutting "_The Big Book of Evil_" and shoving it in her bag. "Come on, Morriah, I think we need to report this."

"Agreed," Morriah said, nodding. Lana blinked, wondering why Morriah and Torri would want to get the other girls in trouble. Weren't they all here to attempt to get their men?

"You'd better not," Jacylin threatened. The odds certainly were against Morriah and Torri. Jacylin had six other girls to back her up. Morriah and Torri only had Lana.

"I hear voices raised in anger, I wonder if they are aware of the danger?" Shantotto asked in her sing-song voice. All eyes were now on the small black mage as she tapped her staff against the palm of her free hand. All girls paled lightly, not truly wanting to face Shantotto rage. However, they were saved by the sound of Squall taking down a fangirl that had managed to get up onto the second level. Shantotto settled them with a harsh glare before going to check on the damage Squall's Aerial Circle had done to her library.

"Get your stuff together, Lana," Morriah stated. Lana nodded, noting how the fire had returned to the eyes of all the Cecil's Consorts and they were starting to advance on the three. Quickly, Morriah, Torri, and Lana bolted for the library door, fleeing down the hallway. The Cecil's Consorts were hot on their heels though, shouting as they ran after them.

Lana was ready to cry again. Today was shaping up to be a perfectly horrid day with no end in sight. Torri led the way, having studied the map the most of the three, leading them in a twisting, turning path down to the entrance hall in hope to shake the Cecil's Consorts.

"Down to the entrance hall, out the doors, and to the Chocobo track, if we can lose them, that is," Torri said as they ran, weighed down a bit by their bags. They had made it down to the entrance hall and nearly to the front doors when a swirling energy burst tripped the trio and the Cecil's Consorts, bringing them to the floor in a tangle of limbs. They all looked up to see an irate Lightning and a nervous Firion standing in the entrance hall.

"Did we all miss the part in our handbooks where it said running in the halls was prohibited?" Lightning asked, placing herself between Firion and the fangirls. Firion's Baby Behemoth, Firioner, growled, preparing to pounce if any of the girls even looked at Firion funny. Someone had put a collar around his neck that resembled Firion's headscarf.

"Miss Lightning, these girls are plotting against Cecil," Morriah said, recovering a lot faster than her companions. Jacylin glared at Morriah as the other Cecil's Consorts began to protest their innocence. Lightning snorted, glancing back at Firion.

"You wanna do the honors?" she asked. Firion nodded, drawing his sword. The Weapon's Master drove his blade down into the floor, giving it a little twist. Large cracks spread out towards the Cecil's Consorts, opening a large hole beneath each girl. All of the Cecil's Consorts disappeared into the holes with screams of shock and surprise. Once Firion pulled his sword from the ground, the cracks and holes disappeared as if they never existed.

"What was that?" Torri asked, looking at the ground.

"Plot Holes, we use them for holding cells. The Lady in Red will deal with them sooner or later," Lightning explained, offering her arm to Firion. The Weapon's Master took the woman's arm and they both sat off deeper into the castle, Firioner trotting behind them, his spiked tail waving happily as the beads on his new collar jingled. Lana stared after them, eyes fixated on Firion's booty. He wasn't wearing his cape or armor today…

"Close your mouth, Lana, you're drooling," Torri commented. Lana shook her head; she had gone into a bit of a stupor when she had laid eyes on Firion.

"Why's he hanging out with _her_?" Lana asked, whining a bit. Morriah and Torri shared a look, chuckling softly. Guess which fangirl hadn't played Duodecim?

-X-X-

At the college, dinner occurred at 6:30 pm and all students were expected to return to their dorms by 8 pm with lights out promptly at 9. The Warrior of Light was especially fickle about that fact. Most everyone in the dorms was already bunked down, only a few still brave enough to face the punishments that came from staying in the common rooms. Lana lay curled up on her bunk, half-asleep while the others went over the day's occurrences, still a bit of energy in them.

"And that's when Firion opened up some Plot Holes, dropping the Cecil's Consorts out of sight," Torri finished, pulling a noise of delight from SquallGal.

"Shows what you get for chasing the three coolest girls from Dorm I!" SquallGal chirped. Nothing seemed to deplete her energy stores. "Bet you were happy to see FiFi, Lana."

"Dun call him that," Lana said sleepily. "He's not a poodle…" SquallGal giggled harder, clutching her pillow close. Morriah casually looked at the clock on their wall, humming.

"It's nine-fifteen… the Warrior's never let it go this long," Morriah commented.

"Perhaps he's busy," SquallGal suggested, lying down to crawl under her covers as Morriah dutifully got up to turn off their lights. Even if the Warrior wasn't here to make them obey, Morriah would do so anyways out of her adoration for the man. A lot of girls in the dorm were snubbing her because the Warrior was starting to show her a bit more kindness because she usually did as he asked without complaint and made others comply.

Lana curled up under her blanket with an unhappy sigh. She hadn't totally completed her summaries for Mateus due to the chase through the halls and seeing Firion with Lightning had made her stomach tie up in knots. It was the first time she had truly seen him up close and he had been with another woman, clinging to her like a lifeline. It wasn't fair…

-X-X-

Tidus and Jecht had been assigned watch duty that night. The pair were certainly not on speaking terms, so they made good guards. Tidus lightly bounced on the balls of his feet, nervous energy being used up by the action, the Warrior and the Lady had yet to return and that was agitating the Spry Striker. The Lady's Chaos opponent was a powerful warrior simply referred to as the Man in Black. He was the only Chaos-aligned warrior _not_ to sign the truce and continue his attacks.

"You think they're alright?" Tidus commented aloud. Jecht snorted lightly, rolling his shoulders to keep limber in case of attack.

"The Lady's tough for a girl and she's got the Warrior to back her. Why? You bein' a worry-wart again?" Jecht replied with a chuckle. Trust his boy to be the one fretting over those two.

"Well, they've never been gone this long on a fight with the Man in Black," Tidus stated. Jecht was about to make a sarcastic comment in reply when both men saw someone approaching the gate. It was hard to tell exactly who or what it was in the darkness, so both Tidus and Jecht tensed, hands seeking sword hilts. As the figure came closer it was obviously the Warrior of Light. The man always seemed to give off a faint glow in the gloom.

"Finally! Cry baby here was starting to whine again," Jecht called, relieved that he didn't have to fight off more Mary Sues. ("Hey!" was his son's comment.)

"Fetch Yuna or Aerith immediately," the Warrior called back to them. It was then the father and son noticed that the Warrior was carrying a bruised and bloodied Lady in Red on his back. Her head lay limply on his shoulder.

Quickly, Tidus sprinted off towards the castle to get one of the white mages. Jecht stepped forward to take the Lady from the Warrior, who upon closer inspection had numerous wounds of his own.

"What the heck happened?" Jecht asked, carrying the Lady bridal style, her head cradled against his chest. Luckily, she was still breathing.

"Ambush. The Man in Black is allied with the Sues and Manikins. She was extremely lucky I decided to follow," the Warrior stated, pulling a Hi-Potion from his belt pouch and drinking it in one go, lightly grimacing as it burnt his throat.

"She's gonna be livid when she wakes up," Jecht stated as they headed towards the infirmary at a brisk pace, making sure not to jostle her too much.

"If she wakes up without having to be reset," the Warrior replied, expression grim.

-X-X-X-X-

_To be continued… _


End file.
